Over the next 4 blogs we will be investigating the power of trust in supporting our teens and some techniques for improving it.
Trust is an unspoken connection which buys us influence and increases the chance of what we say being accepted. As adults we often take for granted that our family will trust us. Unfortunately with teens we have to start this process all over again (often repeatedly) as they go through stages of learning about their independence and more adult boundaries. Psychologists say that to be trusted we must be perceived as:
- Kind
- Predictable
- Having Integrity
- Competent
Kindness
Teens spend considerable time worried and frustrated. Often this is directed at the adults. When this happens we must leave them feeling like they have been heard and their feelings considered, even if the decision goes against them.
Predictability
Focusing on being consistent in our decision making. Applying agreed boundaries. Displaying an even temper when under pressure. These help build trust and minimise the risk of arguments escalating.
Teens regularly put us under pressure. Integrity is when we are unwavering in our boundaries and response despite this. It also means that when our teen is called into question they feel our approach was fair and kept them safe even if there will be consequences.
Competence
This is a confidence game. As adults we rarely have the answer either. What is important is that we look in charge by being calm, considered and not afraid to press pause and come back with the answer.
